Interview - november 1997
Shirley images by MIKE GEE

BEING a determinedly pessimistic sort, I've always believed that the forces of the world can and will crush you at any given second. So you can see why I tend not to plan ahead at all, much less look forward to things. I don't think I've ever made a New Year's resolution - I mean, I'm never going to keep it, so what's the point, right?

Still, there are a few things that I hope life sees fit to permit me in the New Year. For one, I'm actually looking forward to getting back on the road when our new album comes out. You'd think this was because I've been recording in the studio all year and am pining for some sunlight, but I'm afraid the bitter truth is that I'm simply addicted to touring. And this makes me one sad fuck. Because, you see, touring is a ludicrous existence which bears no relation to reality whatsoever - it's like being in the army, and what kind of lunatic wants to be in the army? To freely admit that I love it absolutely proves that I do not have a healthy psyche.

'She's all sparkly and orange and just happens to be the color of my fanny'

But, of course, everyone knows that already. Much like our last LP, our new one is once again about all the "-tions": desolation, isolation, desperation, all death and darkness and destruction. Not to fear, though - there are plenty of melodically outrageous pop moments to compensate for the bleakness, and I think it's much sexier and more organic-sounding than the last. Plus I'll be playing some of those moments on my custom-made Fender Strat, which I've named Rita because she's absolutely beautiful. She's all sparkly and orange and just happens to be the color of my fanny (and a fanny in Scotland is not what a fanny is in America - you figure it out).

My album isn't the only one I'm looking forward to, though. I can't wait for the new records from PJ Harvey and Hole. PJ Harvey's got the most beautiful, complete voice - she sounds the way my heroines always do, which is half man, half woman; half angel, half cunt. She does her own thing, doesn't give a damn about what anybody else is doing, writes and plays everything, and is a great performer. She's the bomb. As for Courtney - I mean Hole - well, if I were 13 and heard the two Hole records, I'd be beside myself with love for her. I just adore the way she plays and manipulates people, and though some say she's gotten a little too glamour-girled-up, I think she's got enough balls to balance out the toning down of her wild-child look.

'I'm not gonna wear a tiny skirt where people can just look up and see my clitoris'

I, however, will not have a new look. I've been on a rant lately about how pitiful is is that so many of these girls singers are trying to be like fashion models these days. Like that silly Meredith Brooks. She's in a different fashion vibe every time you see her, and she's just completely overcome by the clothes she's wearing.  I'm sorry, but I refuse to give in to the pressure of having to come up with a completely new me every time out. I've fought my whole life to try and come to terms with myself, and I'm fucked if I'm gonna have some stylist froufrouing around and telling me I can't wear my hair like this, or that I can't wear that pair of shoes because they're not in fashion this year.I wear clothes suited to what I'm doing. And if I'm gigging, I don't care how fashionable it is, I'm not gonna wear a tiny skirt where people can just look up and see my clitoris.

And on that note, now would be the time to reveal my two greatest wishes for the coming year. My first wish is for the complete and total destruction of the Spice Girls. I want them ritually humiliated in the streets. I want them tarred and feathered. I can't stand the fact that they've tied themselves to the flag of "girl power" while all the time being managed by men, written for my men, and manipulated by men. As far as I can see, they've done not one tiny thing for "girl power".

And my second wish? Well, what I love about being onstage is that it allows me to be completely enveloped in my fantasy world. And what fantasy would be complete without the mythic multi-orgasm? I've yet to achieve one in real life, but I'm hoping to achieve one onstage this time around. I've always wanted to levitate onstage too, and to throw down my mike and let my voice overpower all that amplified sound.

Maybe I'll get lucky and get all three at once. It's going to be quite a show.

This article originally appeared in the December '97 edition of Details magazine.