Garbage - Q & A
From Sharks Patrol These Waters - The Best Of Volume
By Ann Scanlon

Would you be here without Acid House?
Duke: House, yes. Acid, no.
Shirley: Ask my dad.
Butch: No, I'd be checkin' out the heave.
Steve: Without Acid House I am nothing. What's Acid House?

Have you ever worn flares? If so, why?
Duke: Yes. They were on sale.
Shirley: Yes. They keep me well-aired.
Butch: Yes. I wore them back in grade school cos they looked so good with my Nehru jacket.
Steve: Yes, so that I would become highly visible at night.

Where are you right now?
Duke: I'm right here.
Shirley: Not at home in Madison, Wisconsin.
Butch: Holed up at Smart Studios trying to finish the Garbage album.
Steve: In Utopia.

What would you most like to experience?
Duke: Tracii Lords.
Shirley: To play midfield in a World Cup final.
Butch: To hit the winning putt in the US Open.
Steve: A beautiful day for everyone.

Would you fight for someone else's country?
Duke: What's in it for me?
Shirley: Yes. Scotland.
Butch: Only Scotland, because they invented golf, Scotch whisky and Shirley would kick our ass if we didn't.
Steve: If the uniform was snappy enough.

Would you like to experience virtual sex?
Duke: I'd virtually like to experience sex.
Shirley: I'll stick with the real thing.
Butch: No, there's no way it could be even better than the real thing.
Steve: As long as I didn't get my floppy stuck in the SCSI port.

Do you think the best things in life are free?
Duke: Only if you can afford them.
Shirley: Sadly I do.
Butch: Air is free, water is free (in most places), masturbation is free (in most places), music is free (in your head).

What is your favourite saying?
Duke: "Give me some of that."
Shirley: "A's queer 'cept thee and me and sometimes even thee's queer."
Butch: "Fuck up the chorus!"
Steve: "I don't give a rat's ass."

What's your most vivid hallucination?
Duke: London.
Shirley: That lassie from The Krankies.
Butch: An intense Siamese Dream.
Steve: Newt Gingrinch.

What is the greatest record made in the last six years?
Duke: "Beat Me Silly" by Puff.
Shirley: "Beat Me Silly" by Puff.
Butch: "Beat Me Silly" by Puff.
Steve: "Beat Me Silly" by Puff.