Chair throwing, coprophagy, sniffing Courtney Love... and that's just you lot - arf! Garbage's fiery songstress would much rather relax with Ravel and some GM Jarlsberg (as if). Meet the freaks and dudes, Shirley Manson...

It all went a bit mad during the making of Version 2.0, didn't it? What was the craziest occurrence?
I'd probably never reveal some of the things that went on 'cos it wouldn't be healthy for our group dynamic to tell tales. But there were huge fights. Duke didn't speak to me for two months. Furniture got thrown out of a window. By whom? By one of the three gentlemen I work with. But men in generally, if you leave them in a room with each other, they will start to eat at each other. It's the nature of the beast.

This is a three-pronged, shit-on-cornflakes question. Did you really shit on your boyfriend's cornflakes? Did you stand on a chair or put the bowl on the floor? Did you use the bowl afterwards?
(Wearily) Oh God, here we go again. Right then... One, yes, I really really did it. Two, neither, I held the bowl in my hand and squatted over it. Three, of course I used the bowl later - after cleaning it, naturally. OK, Oliver Gregory, you can whack yourself off now...

What was the last record you bought?
This is going to sound very pretentious, but it was Ravel, a piano concerto in G, the second movement of which is unbelievably divine. The last one before that was Primal Scream, Exterminator. And the next two I will get will be the Patti Smith one and the new Asian Dub Foundation.

Have you ever seen a dead person?
(Quietly) Yes. Yes I have. It was my grandmother. I touched her.

What's the most painful thing you've ever experienced?
Having a lump cut out of my breast.

What's been the most disappointing thing about rock stardom?
There's no glamour. And I thought... Weeell, I don't know what I expected... but as I was explaining to a former bandmate on the phone the other day, nothing really has changed. Being in Garbage has been very similar to being in Goodbye Mr Mackenzie, which seems ridiculous, but it's true. We're still playing in front of people who don't know who we are, in toilets, getting dressed in the car we came in. Sowho'ss peddling the illusion of glamour? Well, the media, and certain rock stars who believe that it's in their interests to maintain this illusion of grandeur and power.
Just as an example: I was at the Grammys a couple of weeks ago, presenting an award with Moby, and we were backstage and everything was cool and normal and down to earth and then suddenly that ludicrous Jennifer Lopez comes swanning around like she's the Queen of Sheba.Welll, I'm sorry Jennifer, but Moby has sold as many records as have. Get off your fucking hugh horse and eat shit with the rest of us. A beautiful face, but I want topunchh it nevertheless.

Tell us a nice story about Courtney Love.
Oh, I love Courtney. I think she's fantastic and incredibly intelligent. She can encapsulate people in one word and and seems to read people in seconds. The first thing she told me, event before we spent much time together, was "You're a misanthrope". I considered it subsequently and I think that she might be right... But the nicest thing about Courtney is the way she smells. She smelt of roses last time I met her.

You're talked about suffering from low self-esteem. But what do you like most about yourself?
(As if this has neveroccurredd to her) Ohhh... I bake really good cakes and I give great head... Ha ha ha! That's a pretty good start, right?

If you went to prison, would you "go gay"?
(Thoughtfully) I don't know. It depends on how handsome my warders were. I guess I would have to see what the overall selection was like, then make my decision. And I suppose it would also depend on thelengtht of the sentence. (Trying not to laugh) Never say never, as they say.

Your Dad's in genetics, or so I read. Meddling with nature or improving the world?
(Wrinkling forehead) A bit of both, and I think my father would agree with that. There are serious ethical questions that have been thrown up by the research but I think genetic engineering has donesomem incredible things for human beings and the world. I think the response to GM has been knee-jerk - it's a case of a little knowledge being dangerous - but it's thenaturee of scientists to leap forward without looking where they're going, so it's an ongoing battle. They have to be careful.

What is yourfavoritee cheese?
Jarlsberg. It's a good all-rounder. Very good with peanut butter and carrots. I ike the fact that it looks like a cartoon cheese.

Go on, ask the Q journalist a question he/she has to answer...
Will you tell the truth? Truth-telling isn't specified by the question? Coward! OK, hmmmm... (twinkles evilly) Have you ever masturbated over my picture? No? Boo, hiss! You could at least have lied. Dear readers, he is blushing...

Chrissie Hynde's Gap Protest: justified and reasonable or the actions of a mad old woman?
Well, if you feel strongly about something you should stand up and do something about it regardless of whether people think you're crazy or not. I'm sure her actions can be seen in a ludicrous light if you care to think that way, but I admire her because she's prepared to risk her personal reputation for what she believes in. And she's far from crazy, as you'd find out if you're ever lucky enough to meet her. And she's more vulnerable than she'll ever let out in public. There are certain private battles being waged.

Is ittruee that you don't have eyebrows in real life? If not why not? How do you feel when you see Liam Gallagher?
(Thrilling at the very thought) Oooh, I love Liam Gallagher's eyebrows. I think they're sooo cute. He's been blessed with iconic rock star looks. He's very primitive. He's raw, and people respond to that lack of guile. Him and Courtney, they're like animals, true and pure, whether you like it or not. No, but I do have eyebrows, they've grown back. For a while I plucked them because I wanted to have Star Treck eyebrows, but I got bored of that, and in the course of my four-month break they've gone all unruly... It's an urban myth about eyebrow hair not growing back.

Dear Shirley, I am a redhead, and get really mad when people like Fred Dobson make fun of redheads. Have you ever wished your hair was a different colour and how do you cope with people taking the piss?
(Urgent) You must make sure Patricia gets L25. Well, firstly, when clowns like Fred Dobson are backed into a corner they'll always sink to the lowest depths. But yes, I have often wished my hair was a different colour, particularly when I was a teenager. Later you get to an age when all of a sudden you're delighted to have red hair, because so few people have red hair and also because your pubic hair is so beautiful. In this business you're always having stylists say, You have to change your image, you have to change your hair colour. But I want to be a redhead. It's been the motivating factor in my life. And I hate stylists. Most of them are just jumped-up shoppers. They come in with their fucking Face magazine saying, What I'm going to put you in... and I'll go, Stop right there, don't touch me, don't touch my shit, don't you fucking dare tell me what I'm going to be wearing! That's so rude! (Insensed) Fuck them! Fuck stylists of the world!

What was the best selling item at Miss Selfridge when you worked there, did you go on any training course and do you shop there still or are you too posh now?
I'm not too posh to shop at Miss Selfridge. I go in there regularly. The best-selling item when I worked there was a metallic purple lipstick called Iron Lady and I didn't go on any training courses, because a monkey could do what I did in the shop.

Can you now say what the enormous lie was that you told when you were 15 that made everyone stop speaking to you?
No, I'm too by fucked up it. But I am going into therapy, so I'll let you know by the end of it. I have a therapist lined up who specializes in anger management. So I'm (giggles nervously) "going into therapy", I'm ashamed to say. It's very un-Scottish of me, but it's time to do some mature thinking, as Liz Fraser once sang.

I used to see Goodbye Mr Mackenzie in the '80s, mainly because of Big John Duncan, because I used to be a fan of The Exploited. A mate of mine who roadied for The Exploited and he says Big John was disgusting when he was on tour. Was he like that when he was in a band with you, and if so, what did he do?
John is disgusting but he is a drama queen and he likes to perform. His whole modus operandum is todisgustt and shock and draw attention to himself, he's an artist at it, and I love him so much I can't even begin to say. He's a paradox: a hardcore fucking nutter who you do not cross and at the same time a sweet loving artistic darling. I've seen him eat sick and I've seen him be physically violent... But the worst thing... he once ate shit and told me about it. He said that because shit is food that can no longer be broken down by the enzimes of your body, and specifically saliva, it doesn't change from when you put it in your mouth. It's like peanut butter, it just (smacks lips creepily) sits there. That knowledge sort of fascinated anddelightedd me but, no, I shan't be eating any poop.

How repulsive was Gene Simmons out of Kiss when you met him? Be honest now.
I think he's kind of sexy actually. Gene Simmons on the outside is a caricature, but there is something about him that's totally disarming and charming, self-deprecating and in some ways down to earth. The last time I saw him he was with two young women, we were in the Ivy in Los Angeles and I said, "I see you're with some beautiful women again Gene," and he goes, "Yeah, you're next." Now, that's a joke. He knows he's not going to take me to bed. But Gene's enjoying the rock'n'roll privilege of sleeping with people far younger and sexier than him. He appreciates that and doesn't feel guilty about it. Maybe we think it's repulsive and pathetic but he's putting his d**k in some beautiful girl's p***y... so who's got the last laugh?

What did you get for Christmas?
Oh, I can't remember. I hate Christmas. (Long pause) Oh I got a painting, a beautiful painting by a friend. And I got driving lessons. Driving is wonderful. If I was male I would have a full-scale hard-on every time I went out in the car. It's totally changed my life. I just want to drive myself, and I want and Audi A6.

Billy Corgan thinks you fancy him. Is he right?
Yes. Oooh, I love Billy. Billy's teeth. His amazing razor teeth are beautiful. Yes Billy, I fancy you. Excuse me, I have to go into a rant about Billy Corgan. Billy Corgan is difficult and he doesnґt make life easy for anyone around him, but thatґs half the reason why I love him so much, because why would he?
He's an incredible songwriter and he's a truly unique and individual artist. He's not swayed by anything but his own visceral instincts and I think that's so rare and pure.

At your (fantastic) concert in Edinburgh for the opening of the Scottish Parliament, you played Don't Let Me Down and dedicated it to the new MSPs. How do you think they've done so far?
It's too early to tell. You can't build a nation in eight months.

I made you laugh in a record store in Athens, Greece. Do you remember what I said?
I can't remember what you said, but if you made me laugh in Athens, Greece last year you were doing really well because I was having a major trauma. So I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart and send you big love.

You're known to have been violent in the past. If you could conflict pain on any one person, who would it be and how would you go about it?
I'm no longer violent. I don't agree with violence. Oh, alright then, I would stab Margaret Thatcher through the eyes.

Whose idea was it to bring out a range of Garbage cosmetics? Is it just a money-spinning gimmik?
Spell gimmick properly and I might answer this question. Oh, alright... One, it was my idea. Two, the money that's made goes to cancer charities and we've raised quite a vast amount of money for two cancer units - one in Scotland and one in New York. Which product would I particulary recommend? (Adopts simpery saleswoman voice) The orange nail polish. It was fine quality, hard-wearing and came in a really cool little canister.

Your energy onstage is blistering. What do you after the show to come down?
Weep, usually. Then I wipe the sweat from my brow (insane laughter), change my clothes and eat a Chinese curry. But thank you for your kind words.